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so i have a friend and he just had sex then he said that when he was about to release, he pulled out of the girl and he quite panicked and there was a potted plant beside the couch so he went there and came onto the plant
ever since then, we call him “fertilizer man”
AU The Fault In Our Stars where Hazel Grace succumbs to the cancer and dies and in the last scene all you see is Augustus standing out side with a cigarette between his lips and a hand slowly reaching up to light it.
HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL ENDING!!!!
your url really suits you actualucifer
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
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